This morning was my GMAT exam. It was the last step in my application process for grad school and my MBA. I've applied to Pitt, Duquesne, Robert Morris and Point Park. Although I had not studied as much as the GMAT Test Prep suggested, I never studied as much as the Test Prep guides or teachers suggested. Even without proper test preparation, I always received an adequate score---and usually an above average score at that. Today, the GMAT defied all tried-and-true logic that allowed me to believe I did not need to prepare as suggested or that I was an exception to the rules. I have finally met my match in a standardized test.
I am kind of glad it happened. I was overly confident and arrogant, and if there is anything I cannot stand is an overly confident and arrogant person. What I enjoy in equally the same fashion is that same confident and arrogant person meeting his or her match and realizing their faults. For all of my life, which I realize is not that long, I have thought that I was immune to the pressures of exams. Yes, I sweat with the hard ones and prepare for the ones on subject I struggle with, such as statistics or supply chain management. But, standardized tests are a different ballpark, in my opinion. Instead of focusing on one subject or a series of chapters in one book, standardized tests gather information from everywhere and anywhere.
I have always believed that "You either got it, or you don't" when it comes to standardized tests. The tests I took all through K-12 public school always revealed me in the top percentiles for language and reading and above average in math and science. The SATs were similar. I didn't study a single book or study guide for the SAT and performed as I always have in standardized tests. I was a little surprised, honestly, but at the same time I was not at all shocked. I expected my results, whether I studied or not.
The GMAT was a whole different story. I did study! I took the diagnostic test over a month ago and scored above average in all areas. In fact, in one section, I only missed one question. I scored with a little less sparkle in the quantitative section, so I focused on that test prep booklet when studying. However, as I have been feeling "not my self" lately, I haven't studied as much as I had originally planned. Instead, most nights this past month I've come home from work and gone right to sleep. So, many would assume that I was doomed to score worse on the actual GMAT than I did on the diagnostic exam because of the distraction of being sick. At least, Jeff has told me that I couldn't help my score feeling as I have lately. And, to a point, I agree with him. But, what if my arrogance had something to do with my unexpected score more than my health?
Although I went into the exam knowing I was not prepared and wouldn't score as high as I believed I could, I did not expect to do worse than the pre-test. I believed what has always worked for me in standardized tests---my Kool-Aid, or my immunity to the stressors of such a test---would work for me again.
It didn't work!
And now, I am humbled to admit that I think I'll have to enroll in a GMAT Prep class and take the exam again in a few months. I am still submitting my completed applications, as I still feel I have a chance to get into the schools I've applied to and I have excellent recommendations and qualifications, but I may have to re-apply for the Fall semester.
Maybe I am overreacting to my estimated score or underestimating the power packed in my applications, recommendations, resume, GMAT essays and admissions essays. That's possible. But, it's easy for me to believe that might be too optimistic.
Instead of optimism, I think I will be enjoying the rest of this chilly, rainy Fall evening with a cup of tea and some humble pie.
(Well, really, I'll probably eating some Greek yogurt and berries, but you know what I am trying to say.)
