Hiccups Are Embarassing

So, I live in Friendship and work in Shadyside. It would be ridiculous to drive to and from work everyday, especially since parking on Walnut Street is horrendous and impossible. I would probably drive two minutes, park, and walk another half-dozen blocks to work.

Oh, and I don't have a car.

Needless to say, I walk to work everyday. Rain or shine. And it is mostly a good thing. The days that are really hot or really cold, or raining really hard, I really don't enjoy walking to work. But, for the most part, it keeps my legs fit. So I am happy about that.

A few days ago, I was on my way to work for an afternoon shift. I had already gone for a run and then successfully finished 6 cups of coffee, at this point.

Unfortunately for me, and this has haunted me since birth, when my stomach is too full of air, it really can't come out in one, exclamatory burp. For me, even when my mom burped me, I would start to hiccup. These hiccups can last and recur throughout the course of an entire day. I could hiccup initially for about 10 minutes, be fine, and then two hours later start hiccuping again.

How annoying, right?

Well, this day, because of the running and the coffee and the walking rather fast, I had hiccups off and on the entire morning. And my walk to work was no exception. I am so used to this hiccuping disease by now, I can control them and usually stop them fairly easily.

Today, my hiccups were winning.

So, I am walking across the East Busway on South Negley Avenue after six blocks of tiny, manageable hiccups. At the light, I stop and let out this HUGE hiccup.

I think I jumped.

And, luckily, no one heard it---Or, so I thought.

As I begin across the crosswalk, a mid-40's blonde woman with sunglasses, a business skirt suit on, tights, and white Nike sneakers starts coming across the crosswalk from the other side. As we walk by each other and get closer, she just smiles and turns her head downward, tilting slightly to the side.

"Aww, it's okay dear."

She seemed to feel sorry for me.

I was mortified!

It was one of those expressions that makes you want to crawl underneath your bed with a stuffed animal and cry. I reminded me of a thunderstorm with my little sister when we were seven and three.

You would think horrifying me with this expression would scare the hiccups out of my system, or so the old wives' tale would say.

Nope.

I had hiccups the rest of the day.

Just try putting mascara and liquid eyeliner on a woman six inches taller than you, while standing up with chronic hiccups.