Loud And Clear

I've never had a blog before, so I am still learning the censorship of it all. I'm still learning what I can write and what I can get away with as a blogger. I've already made a huge mistake on here. But, the lesson has been clearly and quickly learned. I apologize for any ill emotions caused by anything I have said on here thus far.

I aim to be a writer in some professional capacity in my career. This was a valuable lesson to learn, and I can only go from here. I just wish it wasn't such a hurtful and frustrating process.

But, then again, when has anything you've wanted badly been easy to get?

I remember when I was seven years old, wanting an American Girl doll so badly. Starting in the summer that year, my mom gave me an empty coffee tin of her International Delights amaretto coffee to save my money in until Christmas. I had the option to save all or part of my allowance each week. I also had the option to do more chores to earn more money.

This was my first checking account, in a sense. Or, maybe it was a savings account. I think that was the intention of my mom, but I did withdraw from the tin every once in a while. You know, if there was a new candy at Gardner's Candies, or a new collection of POGs at Wal-Mart. It depended on my mood each week. Candy and POGs were equally awesome at that point in my life.

Either way, at the end of the year, whether I got my American Girl doll or not was up to me, and only me. I was motivated by this challenge and the sense of responsibility. I loved that coffee tin. I loved pay day. I love seeing money grow and make things happen.

Being a business major, I guess not much has changed.

So, I worked really hard in that five month period. I dusted the house so many times. I cleaned the bathroom. I made my bed every day. I kept the floor in my room pretty clear most days. I set the table for dinner. It was a process, a daily process, but I didn't mind it for the most part.

I liked the challenge.

And, sure enough, Christmas morning came on December 25th, as it does every year. And, although I knew I had given my all, there was still a bit of doubt in the back of my mind, making me think my American Girl doll was not under the Christmas tree that morning.

She was, though, and she was beautiful. I loved to change her clothes and play with her hair every day. I named her Lindsey. She was so cool.

I learned a lot that year. I learned about money and the value of a dollar. I learned about working hard and working toward a goal. I learned that I like a challenge and I handle responsibility very well, even at a young age. And, today, 15 years later, I see that everything requires hard work, responsibility, and the drive to meet the challenge. It doesn't come easy, whatever it is you are aiming to get.

I gave this a strong effort, and I still have questions. I feel a bit cheated and used. But, I'm okay. I've learned a lot here. But, I also am reminded that everything is a process. I need to realize that not everybody realizes this hard, true fact.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have had a fantastic mother, with an International Delights amaretto coffee tin to encourage a work ethic and a self-disciplining conscience.

Nope.

And now, today, I need to learn how to deal with that part of the population that have not learned these valuable lessons yet.

It sucks.